The past few school years have been quite unorthodox, so this upcoming school year has a renewed feeling to it, with sprinkles of hope and optimism for normalcy. School start is the beginning of a new cycle, whether children are first starting school or returning to a familiar classroom and schedule. Each school year comes with new opportunities and periods of growth, both cognitively and emotionally. Children learn independence, social skills, critical thinking skills, and self-resilience at school, in addition to their academic lessons. They also experience fear of failure, social anxiety, peer pressure, and other mood issues when attempting to adapt to their academic environment. School is a preparatory phase for both work life and adulthood, as it teaches academic lessons as well as life lessons. It’s the best time to teach kids crucial self-care skills so that they can enter adulthood confidently, capable of coping with any curve balls which life may throw at them. Below are some teachable tips to set kids up for success with healthy self-esteem and stress-resiliency.
Start With the Self Care Basics
In kindergarten, kids learn their ABCs, the basics of language which need to be mastered before they can move on to complex sentence structure and cursive writing. Mastering self-care and resiliency is no different—start with the basics. What are the basics of self-care? Simply put, they are food, water, rest, and movement. Sounds simple, right? In essence, they are, but putting them into practice is difficult. Think back to your life as a student, especially at university or college. How many all-nighters did you pull? Experience sleepless nights due to stress? Forgo healthy food for the sake of coffee and convenient fast food? Every time you sacrifice your self care for the sake of academic performance (like the notion of pulling all-nighters so you can study as much as possible), you send a subconscious message to yourself that your outer work is more important than your inner self. The more you sacrifice self-care for outer work, the more you strengthen the concept that you are only worth your work; this leads to perfectionism, people pleasing, and overwhelming social anxiety. The best way to prevent this self-sabotage spiral is to focus on self-care basics, which is a precursor to developing a healthy work-life balance and boundaries in adulthood.
Choose Nourishing Foods
Breakfast is necessary, but the components are optional (from a large meal to a power-packed smoothie), depending on personal preference and food availability. Try snacks high in protein (e.g., nuts, seeds, avocado, coconut, etc.) to fuel the brain, as well as mindful snacking (i.e., focus on the food while snacking; don’t mindlessly snack while focusing on a task). Proper hydration is just as important as nutritious food. Have kids pick out their own special water bottle, or “boost” the water with frozen fruit, herbal teas, or herbs. Practice hydration breaks—after 30 minutes of focused work (whether studying, doing chores, playing outside, etc.), take a five-minute water break to just sip and breathe (this is the kid-friendly version of a work “water cooler” break).
Breathing Exercises for Students
Breath and deep breathing are a self-care basic. Before a stressful task (e.g., taking a test or tackling a hectic school morning), take a deep breath in through your nose, hold, then exhale slowly out through the mouth; repeat four to five times. This will automatically calm your nervous system as it has an anxiety-reducing effect. Pair deep breathing with affirmations for a synergist calming effect: with each breath in and out repeat a calming phrase like, “I am calm” or “I am confident.” Or try pairing deep breathing with sleepy thoughts as a great sleep routine activity (add in calming yoga or stretching).
Crucial Sleep for the School Day
Getting adequate sleep is a necessity for self-care; a night of poor sleep sets the stage for a difficult day. Kids need at least 8–10 hours of uninterrupted sleep, consistent sleep/wake times, and a routine before bed. As sleep affects the day, so does the day affect sleep. Factors like missing breakfast, a stressful day, a fight with friends, cloudy weather, or missed recess can all affect a good night’s sleep. Try to let go of the day’s frustrations through practices like journaling and expressive art, dance, and music so the daily stressors don’t negatively affect sleep.
Manifesting Mindfulness for Kids
Mindfulness is another self-care basic. It influences all the other self-care steps, as snacking, hydration, and sleep preparation should all be done mindfully and with intent. A calm mind is a focused mind; hence, mindfulness is also a key component in learning and creating cognitive connections. Mindful activities include visualization (or “manifesting,” as Gen Z refers to it), art and creative therapy, sports, reading, volunteering, meditation, affirmations, etc. Mindfulness is a subjective thing too; not all activities will resonate with everyone, and you must find what’s right for you. Your way of practicing mindfulness may not be the same as your child’s, and if so, you’ll encounter resistance and apathy from them. If they try something and it’s not right for them, try another activity or another way to do the activity (i.e., if journaling doesn’t work, suggest creating a comic instead, or daily doodle or sudoku). If no suggestions work and you get consistent resistance, then there are underlying blocks which need to be addressed, such as perfectionism, fear of failure, or rejection.
School-Play Balance
Life is about balance, and school life is no different. There needs to be a balance between work and play, food and water, rest and movement, school (or work) life and personal life. Children may spend a chunk of their young lives in school, but school is not the only part of their existence. This needs to be addressed, especially if school is a child’s only focus and becomes their entire world—if something goes wrong, then it’s catastrophic and affects their world. Another aspect of self-care is self-expression and exploring all the other “worlds” out there, like community, family, friends, and activities.
Lastly, self-care is learned best through observation. What you do and how you take care of yourself directly impacts your children, as you are their “caretaker” and they learn through your example. The most effective way to teach your children the importance of self-care is to practice it yourself, which is sometimes the hardest lesson of all.•
